Everyone has a fear.
I have a tremendous fear of Miley Cyrus crashing into my apartment singing Wrecking Ball or bugs. I hate bugs.
We all live with certain fears that completely and utterly paralyze us just by thinking about it. I have come to realize that we have two layers of fear. The external fears, which are basically anything that makes us scream, like a fear of heights, of clowns, of Miley Cyrus, of bugs, of enormous furby dolls invading the earth. Then we have the internal fears; the fear of being abandoned, getting hurt, getting your heart broken, being vulnerable. The fear that would destroy who we are on the inside and render us completely stripped of everything. The thing about fear is that one day you are going to have to face it. There is no way you can run from it. I mean the scenario with Miley Cyrus is probably not going to happen so I’m safe there but like bugs and being vulnerable. We will all have to face them eventually. A bug might crawl across your counter and you will scream, flail around until you smack your head into a wall and you fall over and lay there in embarrassment and shock. Someone you care about will leave you because you two got into a fight and neither one of you had the balls to say sorry so it got really awkward and now every time you see them, you make awkward eye contact and in that moment you feel a pang of regret and sadness because you wonder what would’ve happened if you just freaking apologized but now you think it’s too late because so much time has gone by and you have spoken to each other in over a year. Either way, your fears will always catch up to you. It is inevitable. It is the sad truth of life. We are forced to face the things we hate the most sometime in the future. Life is sadistic and a meanie that way. Fear is the driving force in getting us to never do anything worth doing. We sit around and think about how to avoid these things and waste our time worrying about the outcome instead of just doing it. Our external fears are far more easier to escape. I mean if you don’t like clowns, don’t go to a circus or a clown college. If you don’t like heights, don’t go skydiving but you really should because it’s a lot of fun and life changing. Our internal fears are much harder to escape. They are harder because they completely depend on the other person. Your significant other, your friend, your family, strangers, Miley Cyrus. You put yourself out there and you risk getting hurt. You risk your pride, love, dignity and self. It’s a risk that we all take at least once in our lives. We give our hearts away to the wrong people. We tell our stories to the ones who don’t want to listen. We love those who will never love us back. The only way to avoid this is to completely shut yourself out from the world and never come out again. This will probably lead to insanity. You cannot avoid the outside world because the outside world is all about getting all up in your business and being like “WHAT YOU GONNA DO NOW? HUH?! YEAH! YOU AIN’T GON DO NUTHIN!” You sit there all awkward and small being like “Please leave me alone, I’m trying to enjoy my tea.” Life will not allow you to shelter yourself for long. Life will always get you in the end. It’s the sad truth of living. However, to turn this subject around, when we risk ourselves to the things we are most afraid of, we become stronger. We grow a little more and we change. No matter how weak you feel in that moment when someone betrays you or someone breaks up with you, in the end you’ll become stronger because you know what pain is, you know what it feels like to get your heart ripped out. There are two ways of going at this also. You either become tough skinned or completely numb. It’s okay to be either one. There is nothing wrong with being tough skinned or numb as long as you remember this, you are better. If you know that you’ve given everything you got and it doesn’t work out then fine, sometimes our best isn’t good enough but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t good. Something just don’t work out and after you’ve done all you could, it still doesn’t then you move on. You have the capability of moving on. You do not have to be stuck in one place and commend yourself in knowing that you really did give it your best shot. It’s all you can do.
We end up obsessing over all the things we could’ve done or should’ve said but it’s over and you did what you could at the moment and it didn’t work out. Your heart got broken and your trust got shattered but that doesn’t mean you are a bad person, that doesn’t mean you aren’t enough, that will never mean that you are worthless. You are just human. Hearts get broken all the time and trusts get shattered every day. People will break and betray you. You will break and betray people too. It’s what being human is about. So just give your best with all you got. Don’t come back with regrets saying that you should’ve tried harder. Try your best right then and there. Face your fears because eventually you are going to face them anyway. Just get on with it. The faster you face your fear, the weaker the fear gets. Also remember 6 billion people are going through the same things. We might not be in the same situations or from the same background but we all have insecurities, we all have fears. We are all weak and vulnerable. If you open up to someone and they reject you then they haven’t had the time to face their fears yet and cannot admit to being vulnerable. Being vulnerable takes strength so just the fact that you were able to open yourself up to anyone is a deed that is impossible for some people. Don’t get down and sulk around because someone ran away from your problems. Be proud that you could even admit that you are not perfect and that in that moment, you weren’t scared of hiding who you are away. The fact that they ran away has nothing to do with you, it has something to do with them. Don’t blame yourself, don’t guilt yourself. So don’t be afraid to fall in love, to trust people, to be vulnerable. Don’t pretend to be perfect. Perfection is a terrible myth told by people who cannot admit their defeats. Perfection will never exist in human kind. You are not perfect but you are worth loving. Your fears are a result of your mindset. We build these fears in our heads until they become taller than mountains and we are unable to climb them. Stop that. You pop, lock and drop that mindset right now. Risk yourself because you will find people that will love you in your most vulnerable state and then your fears will run from you. If you never open doors, how in the sweet name of baby jesus are you going to be able to know what’s behind them? You ain’t got no X-Ray vision. Don’t you lock yourself within your walls. That ain’t gonna do you any good because we only grow to the size of the box we put ourselves in so if you gon hide in a box the size of my foot, you going to grow to the size of my foot. Why the hell do you think certain animals shed their skin and shit? Because they are getting too big for the skin they are living in. We are the same way except we don’t actually shed our skin like that, it’s a metaphorical thing. If we were running around shedding our skins for real, it would be the nastiest thing, skin shells the size of humans all over the damn road. No. Gross. I ain’t about that mess. I almost puke when I see a cockroach if I see skin shells the size of humans, I would die from all the disgust that will build up in my body. No. You stop that.
So you take that fear of whatever and you kick it in its face. You knock the living Satan out of that fear and you make it fear you. Be stronger than your worries. You turn that mindset of can’t and won’t into OH HELL YES I WILL AND CAN, WATCH ME.
Except when it comes to this. Nope. Can’t. Sorry. I can never forget Hannah Montana and how she always had the best of both worlds.