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Late Night Rants: Why You Should Be Paranoid

Okay, I am going to start this post by saying that this is rant. 

I just discovered a song called Paranoid by Ty Dolla $ign. This song depicts a situation where the guy has two girls and they end up in the same club and he’s paranoid that they are setting him up and trying to screw him over. 

Okay first, you are an ass. You are the one sleeping with two women and you are going to call them bitches? No sir, you are an ass and just a terrible human being. 

Second, so you wouldn’t make any of them your “mrs” but that doesn’t no mean you have to disrespect them like that. Again, you are a terrible human being.

Third, YOUR NAME IS TY DOLLA $IGN. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. WHO ARE YOU? It’s technically, TY Dolla Dollar Sign Ign. Stop this.

“This is just a song, Jonny.” “Stop crapping your pants, Jonny.” “You’re just jealous because he makes more money than you, Jonny.”

I get that it’s “just a song” but that does not give anyone the right to belittle someone. I don’t care if it’s Jesus singing it, I cannot stand this kind of ignorance and stupidity. 

I know I can’t do anything about it and people will still listen to the song and blah blah blah. I don’t care if he’s richer than me, THAT STILL DOES NOT MEAN HE CAN BE A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING.

Like this song makes it look like the rapper is the protagonist while the two women he’s sleeping with look like bitches. No. NO. NOOOO. Are you kidding me? YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH TWO WOMEN. YOU ARE AN ASS. I cannot stand people that cheat. I think cheaters are disgusting and they are despicable. Why would you do that to someone? Why do you only think about yourself? Do you not think that these people have feelings? ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOURSELF? Are you that selfish that you can’t break up with one person and just get with the other on a later date? ARE YOU THAT STUPID? 

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This song makes my skin crawl. I cannot believe that this is actually a thing and it’s actually on the radio. This song is degrading and terrible. I know most rap songs are degrading to women and no I do not support that but this one just takes the cake. WOMEN AREN’T OBJECTS YOU FREAKS. THIS ENCOURAGES MEN TO BE ASSHOLES AND TREAT WOMEN LIKE DIRT. YOU ARE A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING. I legit don’t care if this is just a song, this song makes it okay to cheat on women and belittle them for finding out. This song treats women as objects, just things to play around with. NO. NO. NOOOO. You stop this right now. I am so sick of this. I am so sick and tired of women being belittled in the media. We do not have to look like supermodels. If we don’t look like one, you have no right to judge us. We should not all weigh like 90 pounds. That’s straight up unhealthy and dangerous. We do not have to impress you. We do not have to live up to your standards. Women are very much capable of doing things that men can do. Women give birth for Christ’s sake. YOU PUSH A BABY OUT OF YOURSELF AND THEN COME AND TELL ME THAT YOU ARE BETTER THAN ME BECAUSE YOU’RE A MAN. I do not hate men. This might sound like I don’t like men, I just hate ignorant people. I hate people who don’t understand that race, gender, sexual orientation isn’t a defining factor of “who’s better?” No one is better than anyone. WE ARE EQUAL and if we treated each other as such, terrible music like this wouldn’t be on the radio. Now I know some really awesome men in my life who treat women with respect and dignity. I know not all men are terrible. I know not all men think women are objects. It’s just the ones that do that make me want to hurl extremely sharp things at them. I do not believe that women are better than men. I believe that we should be treated equally to each other. 

I don’t know much about feminism but I do know that both women and men should be given equal rights. I firmly believe that every human being is entitled to be treated as a human being. No one is better than the other and we should all just freaking love each other and live in harmony but NOOOOO you have a song about getting high and being paranoid that the two girl you are sleeping with are setting you up and you think you have the right to call them bitches. I hope they set you up and kick your ugly ass. YOU HAVE A DOLLAR SIGN IN YOUR NAME!! EVEN KESHA REALIZED THAT IS SOME BASIC MESS. Go home. I might be completely misinterpreting this song. If I am, I welcome you to correct me.

Sorry it’s late. I’m tired and procrastinating. This song burns a hole in my soul and I just wanted to let it out. Thanks for putting up with me. Here, I made you this cake. Not really but yeah.

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-Jonny

 

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Confessions Part 3: Because Usher Wasn’t Gonna Do It.

There has been a lot on my mind lately.

I have been struggling with a few issues at hand that has to involve relationships.

I haven’t been in a relationship ever unless you want to count like a week in 7th grade while I was at Space camp. Yes. Space camp. Can we move on?

I’m gonna come right out and say it. I feel like we’re good enough friends and I’ve stopped caring for a while now. If you view me differently then fine, you go ahead and view me differently. I’m not completely straight. I’m bi. I like both boys and girls. If you call me greedy, I’ll cut you. I’m really tired of people being like “You greedy bitch. You just want all of them.” No I don’t WANT all of them. That’s too much to handle and I don’t have the time. I just happen to be capable of harboring feelings for both boys and girls. Also if you tell me that I just need to decide, I’ll punch you in your throat. If I could damn well decide then I wouldn’t be going around calling myself bi. I probably would’ve “chosen” by now. So shut up. Being bi has such a weird stigma because bisexual people aren’t fully accepted in either straight or gay communities. I just tend to fall for people based on how I feel towards them despite their gender and I mean gender, not sex, because I took intro to sociology and I know the difference. YEAH LEARNING. But anyway is that concept too hard to comprehend? I really don’t see the point of coming out. I’ve come out to a few people and it just didn’t make sense. I genuinely don’t care because whether you like me or not, I cannot change the fact that I like boys and girls. If I could, I would. If I was gay, I would proudly come out as gay because it would make things a whole lot easier for me. I fully accepted the fact that it is literally impossible for me to control the people I have feelings for. Sometimes I really wish I was just gay or straight. Do you have any idea how freaking annoying and complicated it is being bi? So I suppose this is my official coming out post? I dunno. Take it as you will. Okay well technically, I’m pansexual which means that I’m attracted to people of all genders so it goes beyond the binary gender categories. But let’s go with bi so it’s easier.

ANYWAY. The reason I came out to you all is because I’m having problems. I sometimes literally believe that God has intended for me to die alone. First he makes me bi and I’m like “k thanks man” then he goes on and makes me have these standards that are higher than Kilimanjaro and of course I refuse to settle, like I physically cannot settle for people that I am not attracted to. It just feels wrong. God then apparently makes it so that NO ONE WILL FALL FOR ME. THANKS MAN. REALLY. I APPRECIATE IT. WHAT IS THE POINT OF BEING ABLE TO LIKE ALL GENDERS IF NO ONE WILL LIKE ME BACK?! YOU ARE SUCH A TEASE, GOD. I DO NOT HAVE THE DAMN TIME. It’s like God telling me to just go ahead and get 100 cats already. Except I’m allergic to cats so I’ll just be the crazy llama lady. “Hey did you see the crazy llama lady today?” “Yeah she was walking them all while riding one at the same time. Also why does she have to wear that hawaiian shirt everywhere she goes?” “I heard she taught all of them how to dance.” “BUT THERE’S LIKE 400 OF THEM!” “I KNOW. SHE’S CRAZY.” yeah, CRAZY COOL. Leave me alone and my llamas.

So I’m hoping that somewhere in this weird ass story that God is writing for me, there will be a person that will fall in love with me AND I WILL FEEL THE SAME WAY AND WE CAN GO TRAIN LLAMAS TOGETHER AND START A TRAVELING LLAMA CIRCUS. It’ll be so romantic. The next Notebook. Romeo and Juliet without the suicide at the end and all the complicated shit in the middle. It will be called The Llama Circus of Love. CUTE. I’d see it. Okay, I’m done talking.

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But on a more serious note, I really do hope that you guys will accept me for who I am. I am still the same crazy ass blogger who writes the most random crap and loves llama circuses. I fully understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I fully respect that. I just hope that you guys will be respectful enough of me to let me live my own life and not condemn me to the deepest depth of hell. I believe that God made me this way for a reason and I have yet to figure out the reason but I know it’s there. It’s something that I can’t change, I would know, I tried for years. Trust me. I hated myself for the longest time and refused to accept the fact but lately I’ve been more open with myself and as I slowly learn to love and accept myself, I’m okay with it. Thanks for reading, you guys. Thanks for your support and your constant love. If this fact about me does not appeal to you, then bye. I can’t do anything about it and you don’t have to read my blog. Easy. See ya never. I’m not gonna sit here and argue with you. Ask me if I have the time. The answer is no, I do not. Bye.  For those of you who do not care and love me still, you all are so grand. Thank you so much. I love you too. Let’s get coffee or something. K cool.

-Jonny

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Gas Station Drama

Yesterday I experienced the ratchetness of human kind.

On my way home from work, I stopped at a gas station to get a coke and as I was getting out of the car, the car next to me rolled their windows down and this ratchet ass hoe has the damn nerve to yell “ew” at me. I had no idea how to react to that because I wasn’t aware that I was back in elementary school. Like excuse me? You don’t know me and you have no right to judge me. I know I’m not pretty but you sure as hell ain’t cute either. You think you’re all big and tough because you’re in a car, yelling shit to random people at gas stations? The hell is wrong with you? Who hurt you in the past that you’ve become such a terrible human being?

I’ve always been super insecure about my looks. I’ll admit it. I do care about what people think of me sometimes. I know I’m not society’s idea of beautiful and this has been weighing on in the past week or so. I did not need some troll looking bitch to confirm my insecurities. This is the reason why I don’t like to leave my apartment. I have to deal with morons who don’t know how to be a decent human being. Who raised you? A donkey? Like holy christ, grow up. Yeah it got to me. I can’t sit here and be all “Oh it didn’t bother me one bit. I’m completely fine.” No I’m not fine. I’m pissed and upset. Who the hell do you think you are? And before you start judging people’s looks and yelling immature crap like that, make sure you don’t look like you just got run over by a damn truck, you Patrick Star looking ass hoe. What did you accomplish from that? Do you feel better now? Did insulting a random stranger for no reason make you feel better about your infinitesimal life? Like seriously. The damn nerve of some people. Get out. I’ll cut you.

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I know I shouldn’t let stupid bitches get to me. I know that I shouldn’t let what others think of me affect me but it’s hard at times. I mean I have all the insecurities and I’m trying to be better about it. I am slowly accepting who I am and it’s a very rigorous process. I wasn’t made perfect. I don’t have the looks, the body or even sometimes the personality. I’m working on it. Sometimes the way I feel about myself isn’t healthy and I have to catch myself and stop myself. I just wish that some people would be a little considerate of others and their feelings. It would be a nice world to live in if that happened. If we all treated others like we wanted to be treated, no random bitch would be yelling “ew” at you at random gas station. I mean if you wanted to be treated like nothing, you should’ve just told me. Like I literally don’t know what can possess a person to do something like that? Do you really have no decency? You have no idea what this person is going through or what kind of emotional state they are in and you just yell “ew” at them thinking you’re high and mighty? What is that person was suicidal? What if you were the last straw and that person committed suicide because you were just being an asshole for no reason? How would you live with yourself knowing that your stupidity ended a life? Do you feel good about yourself? What kind of monster are you? How would you feel if I yelled that at you? I don’t know what you’re going through but you DO NOT have to take it out on me. I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU. Seriously these types of people disgust me. Inconsiderate self-centered assholes. I’m not just saying that because she hurt me but because a person like this actually exists. I hope no one gets to experience this kind of hatefulness. I really do hope I’m the only person she does this to because it sucks. 

But even if this was a reminder of how much people suck, this was also a reminder of how wonderful all my friends are. Their kind words and caring hearts just made everything better. I was really down in the dumps but my friends made me realize that this bitch’s opinion does not matter and that I am better than that. I have people who care about me and love me for me. They make life worth living and it’s a great feeling to be surrounded by such amazing people. 

I really do hope that none of you reading this do anything like this. It’s not funny. It’s not cute. It’s mean, hurtful and rude. You don’t know what anyone’s going through. Be kind to other people. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle and your “attempt” at being funny isn’t helping. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Care a little about the world around you. Seriously. Be a good person. Choose to be a good person. Don’t choose to yell at random strangers about how ugly you think they are. Everyone is beautiful. Don’t define beauty with what magazines and TV tells you. You are beautiful. If you have ever gone through this kind of ordeal, I want you to know that you are beautiful. You are. Trust me. You are the most stunning, flawless, overwhelmingly fabulous person and someone is falling in love with you as you read this. Someone is going to see you and make you their center of their world and truly believe in their hearts that you are literally the most beautiful person in the world and nothing else compares. Not just someone but a whole lot of people actually. So many people are falling for you and it’s ridiculous. So what if you don’t look like Scarlett Johannson? Or Ryan Gosling? Or Beyonce? You look like you and that’s the most unique beauty ever. It’s stunning.

Some parts of tonight’s event weighs a little heavy on my heart but I know that I have amazing friends and some asshole’s opinions should not matter to me. I just hate that this happened at the most untimely moment. However, despite this craptastic event, I am glad I was reminded of the amazing people in my life. I am thankful for these wonderful people being in my life reminding me to not let these things get to me and making my night better with their loving comments.

-Jonny

 

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Hating People, Loving Life: Why You Should Never Give Up

I hate humans.

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Yup. That’s how I am starting this post.

People suck. They legitimately do not know how to be good for a split second. I have had my share of terrible people and I have given my dose of terrible. I have experienced treatment from people that I would never wish on my worst enemies. To know what it’s like to be thrown away at your most vulnerable moment by people whom you thought were good people is probably one of the most lowest things I’ve ever experienced. It still pains me today to think about it. Another thing is when people decide to drive the wrong way in a one way and look at you like you killed their cat when they see you coming at you. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Where did you learn to drive? This is a one way parking garage and I know you go to this school, I SEE YOUR TAG. LEAVE. What is wrong with you? Where did you learn how to drive? What state thought it was a good idea to give you a license? You suck. GO HOME.

Also there has been some ratchet things happening on campus which really makes me wish that people will grow up and act their age. Before you throw yourself into an issue or pick a side, make sure you know what you are getting into. Research is key in life. Research makes sure that you don’t look like a completely imbecile. Remember that. Don’t be an idiot. Do your research.

This week has been a mess of emotions. So I went on a walk with one of my greatest friends, Jen and she made me realize why I shouldn’t give up on the human race. She is one of the strongest people I know and I know that if she wants to still be friends with me, I must be doing something right. Our topic of conversation was how much people suck. We have both gone through the whole “It’s at your worst, when you realize who’s gonna be there for you.”

I hit my worst last semester. I ended up in the hospital due to my stupidity and my weaknesses. I legitimately thought that that was when my worst was for the longest time but now I realize that my worst was after that. Dealing with everything after the storm is much worse than dealing with things during the storm because you got one heck of a mess to clean up and people expect you to be fine just because the storm is finally over. It’s not that at all. It’s not about being there during the storm but being there after and having the patience and understanding to know that everything still isn’t fine. I was not completely okay. I was not okay at all. I was trying to get my life together and I felt like I had a bigger responsibility to hide the fact that I wasn’t okay because I was supposed to be okay. If I made it clear that I wasn’t, I risked going back. I knew I would be okay eventually but no one understood that the time that took me to readjust myself and refind myself was not an immediate one. When people realized I wasn’t fine, they left because they thought I was supposed to me. They were getting tired of me. It was basically “She went to the hospital and she’s still not okay. I’m getting sick of this.” Leaving someone when they need you the most is literally the worst thing someone can do but it happens everyday and people ask me why I have trust issues. Lately I’ve been feeling really abandoned and alone. I can’t tell people that I’m not okay because I’m supposed to be okay now. I’m supposed to be fine. I’m not fine. I’m still haunted by my demons and now I’m further haunted by my past and my past failing. I feel like it completely my fault and my doing that people I cared about left. I don’t ever want to burden people. At the time, I tried to open up and let people know that I wasn’t okay and it only blew up in my face and I lost some people that were dear to me. I might’ve done it in a wrong way but I really wasn’t in my right mind. It was my own mistake and from time to time, it still hurts a lot. To those people, I want to say I’m really sorry but I’m also still mad, only because it’s a natural response I guess. I am now in a much better place. I am still trying to find peace within myself. I am still hurting but I am better at dealing with it and I am happier now, much happier. I find comfort in knowing that I am strong enough to fight through some of the darkest times. I am learning to love myself and think for myself. I am done living my life for other people and I have to think about my own safety and mental development. I cannot continually rely on other people. I have to stop caring so much. It’s really not that hard if you try a little. I have become more comfortable in my own skin. I also learned how to love others. To be a good friend is to be there. God does the whole healing and repairing part. Friends are there for support and fun times. They are the reminders of why you are alive and why it’s important to love.

Philip is one of my best friends. He doesn’t fully understand all that I’m going through but he doesn’t push. He loves me for me and he has stayed with me even if I have given him no reason to. He has just been there for me. He has never once acted like he was better than me because he didn’t have my problems. He never judged me or grew impatient with me. He was nothing but patient and kind with his friendship. I cannot express my love for him enough. We’ve had our ups and downs but friendship isn’t about changing people but understanding that we have flaws and that we won’t get along all the time but our love for one another is stronger than that.

Kelsey has literally saved my life. She has given me a place to stay when I was homeless and a person to talk to when I was speechless. One day, she came up to me and asked me if I was really okay. I didn’t think anyone truly saw me but she did and it saved my life. Even though she was going through her own issues, she was always there for me and I wish I was there for her more. I would do anything for her. Who knew that people like her actually existed? Someone who sees you when you feel absolutely invisible and knows the difference between genuine happiness and fake happiness. I wish I could find a way to thank her but whatever I do will never be enough.

Jen and Sarah are two people I can always turn to. I love them. These two people aren’t only beautiful but have hearts bigger than the moon. They have heard my story and continued to love me despite my shortcomings. They are my light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I can talk to them about literally everything.

Lauren was one of my roommates my freshman year but she is much more than that. She is one of my best friends and has been a rock to me. She has NEVER judged me once and I have given her plenty to judge me on. She listens to me rant and bitch about everything and if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have my sanity. I know that I will always be able to rely on her and I want to be someone she can always rely on as well.

These are only a few people who are constantly reminders of why I need to keep living. I cannot let these people down. There are more which is a fact that always surprises me. People actually love me? WHAT? Anyways I named some of them because I feel like they deserve to be called out, not because of what they did for me but because this is who they are, they are the proof that the world isn’t filled with crap so of course they need to be named. My love for these people are so great. When I asked God for a sign, he gave me them. I want to work hard to be a good person and better myself so that I can benefit these people and be able to be the friend they need when they need it.

Find your people but before you do, find yourself. Be comfortable with being alone with your thoughts. Be your own friend. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I hope you can look at your life and have people you can call out. Life isn’t easy, no one said it would be. It’s unfair and shitty as can be. I understand what it’s like to give up but don’t do it. Don’t give up. It’s okay to not be okay. No one is fully okay. We all have shit to deal with but whether you believe in God or not, I believe that God will help you. He will never abandon you and he won’t give up on you so don’t give up on him. Love is a great thing. Learn to utilize it within yourself and to others. Clear your mind of all the crap and have one, just one thing in mind. To love.

I love you guys and thanks for sticking with me and this long ass post. I just had to get this out. It was important for my mental health so yeah. Thanks guys. I’m gonna leave you with this quote. It’s the reason why I write and why I’m okay with my bitching.

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-Jonny

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Divergent: A Review of Incest, Scandal, and Teen Pregnancy

Yesterday, I went to see Divergent and holy good lord, I loved it. It was really well done. The book was of course better because the books are always better. Definitely go read the book if you haven’t. If you like the Hunger Games or anything along the lines of that, GO READ IT NOW. I don’t want to ruin anything so I’m gonna try and be as ambiguous as possible.

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The set of the entire film was exactly how I imagined it would be. It was like they went into my mind and recreated it perfectly. 

I am not a big fan of the whole lovey dovey thing. It’s kind of nauseating to me, reasons why I hate Twilight. It’s one of the reasons why it took me so long to finish Divergent because I couldn’t deal with it for long. I mean it shifted a little further on in the book but for a while, it was annoying and boring. I mean the entire book was quite fast paced with a lot of exciting things happening and then it got too much with the whole romance thing. I thought it was well done in the film though. Except there was this one part, this might be a bit of a spoiler so don’t read this part if you don’t want ANYTHING to be ruined. There’s a part when Shailene says “I don’t want to go too fast.” I burst out laughing because does anyone remember The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Slow, my ass. Anyways, Shailene is also in The Fault in Our Stars, AHHHHHH give me a minute to gather myself. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THAT MOVIE. Okay, I know I just said that I’m not into romance type things but what I mean is that I don’t like the lovey dovey parts in book where it’s not all about lovey dovey things. I mean The Fault in Our Stars is all about romance while Divergent isn’t about romance at all and I don’t mind it, it’s just that if it goes on for too long, I die a little on the inside because I just want them to get back to the real issue of the book. ANYWAYS, John Green is a genius and all of his books are incredible. I kind of wish they would turn Looking For Alaska into a movie. I would love to see what would happen with that. So Shailene is in FiOS but so is the actor that plays Caleb, Tris’ brother except in FiOS, he plays Shailene’s lover. So it’s all a bit awkward but I don’t really care because I think the guy is super cute and seeing him as Augustus Waters is going to make my heart fly.

Back to Divergent. They left out a few things that I wish would’ve been in the movie. They didn’t really focus on building the different characters, which I guess is not a bad thing since they had to fit an entire novel into 2 and a half hours so focusing more on the background of the Factions and stuff makes more sense. Still, I fell in love with the characters besides Tris and they weren’t in the movie for that long. 

Overall, it was really well done. It stuck with the book really well. It tweaked some parts a little and left some parts out but I expected as much so I wasn’t all disappointed. The setting was perfectly done. The characters are well casted, especially the mom. THE MOM WAS PERFECT. Read the book and then watch the movie and then you’ll understand. GO NOW. RUN TO THE NEAREST BOOK STORE. GO GO GO GO. Also Tony Goldwyn is in the movie and I LOVE TONY GOLDWYN. SCANDAL. LOVE. GLADIATORS. PRESIDENT FITZ. MELLIE FOR PREZ. I’m obsessed with Scandal, if you haven’t noticed from my little outburst. SCAAAANDAL. After you’re done reading and watching Divergent, GO WATCH SCANDAL. You have so much to do now. Look at you. Doing things and whatnot. Good for you. But seriously. I’ll wait here while you go do all these wonderful and NECESSARY things. Kbye.

Look it’s the Prior family! I am so in love. 

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I also got Dauntless for my “Which Divergent Faction Do You Actually Belong In?” Buzzfeed quiz and to that I say “NO.” Aw heeell to the no. I am not about jumping out of trains and fighting until I can’t fight anymore. I get that being Dauntless is like a cool thing but I’d much rather be in Amity or something where I don’t have to be physically challenged. I ain’t about that physicality. 

-Jonny

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Memoirs of a 20 year old girl with zero cares to give

So today was weird.

I believe my future roommates and I found the best apartment ever so I’m super pumped to actually have a place to live. No more homeless blog posts. 

I also went shopping for my semi-formal dress. I absolutely hate dress shopping. I hate it more than sitting in a room that’s on fire while being surrounded by spiders and my 8th grade science teacher trying to tell me how to identify rocks. I’d rather be put in a room with Justin Bieber singing acapella than go dress shopping but there I was, trying on dress after dress, trying to pretend that I wasn’t the shape of a beached whale. I finally found one and it only took me like 3 hours to find one. I hate dress shopping.

Also a random guy came up to me while I was checking out and it was the most awkward conversation ever. Here I’ll give you the gist of it.

Guy: What’s your style?

Me: Excuse me?

Guy: Your style, Mine’s like Gucci but you know, not everyone can afford that so I wear this hoodie and whatever and then yeah and I like to express myself and stuff. So what’s your style?

Me: I don’t know how to respond to that…

Guy: Oh okay, well you be good and don’t be a fool, ya know.

Um. What? How much heroin did you shoot through your veins before you came here? I’m sorry but please leave. So weird. I then ventured to Forever 21 to get a floppy hat because I’m a sorority girl now and that’s a thing when your events are Kentucky Derby themed. So I got my floppy hat, my bright dress and a sad bank account. So to celebrate, I walked on over to Victoria’s Secret because I needed legging because pants suck. On the way there, I encountered the kiosk people. The first lady was really nice so I bargained and got this nail kit thing for like half price or more for my mom because I don’t do my nails. I now had a sadder bank account than 10 mins ago. The second kiosk was where I realized something and I got real defensive.

It was a kiosk that sold hair straighteners. It was run by a Israeli man that did not appreciate the fact that I lived in Qatar. He was all like “Qatari people want to kill us all and throw us into the ocean.” To which I replied, “Okay…but obviously that’s not me. I just lived there…I was just trying to make conversation.” He laughed and offered to straighten my hair. I was like “I don’t need to straighten my hair.” He was like “Why?” and I said “Because it’s naturally straight.” He laughed again and did it anyways. Then he asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no and then he asked if I wanted one and I didn’t know what to say to that. He then curled my hair and went “Ta da! Now you’ll get boyfriend.” To this I said, “I don’t curl my hair.” He asked why and I replied, “Because it takes too much time and I just do not care that much.” To this, he said “You are a girl, yes? I mean you ARE a girl, yes? Well then since you’re a girl, you should wear makeup and curl your hair.” I looked at him with fire in my eyes or more along the lines of “You did not just say that.” I simply replied with “Being a girl does not determine whether I should be pretty or not. I just don’t have enough cares in my day to focus on how curly my hair is or how plain my face is.” He laughed. He then noticed my soccer hoodie and asked “You play football?” I nodded. Obviously I did. He then asked, “Do you not curl your hair or wear make up because you play football?”  EXCUSE ME? What does playing soccer have anything to do with looking pretty? So I replied, “No, I just don’t like makeup or curling my hair. I don’t like it so I don’t do it. Simple.” I don’t think he quite got it so I nicely told him that I had no need for a hair straightener, asked him to straighten out the curls he made in my hair and left. This guy obviously did not know how to make a sale. Please no. ALSO EVERYONE KEPT THINKING I WAS LIKE 14. WHAT? STOP. Probably ’cause I don’t wear makeup and curl my hair.

I fully understand that I don’t style my hair, put on makeup, wear cute clothes, or accessorize. I know I’m not the prettiest flower in the garden and I don’t really care. I never really liked the way I look but it’s something that I have to live with so I do. I never cared for makeup or hair products. I sometimes wish I did but most of the time, I’m far too lazy to get into it. I just don’t care enough. It really has nothing to do with me being all “I’m a girl and I don’t have to wear makeup to be pretty. YEAH. INNER BEAUTY AND SHIT.” I just really don’t have enough cares to give to sit there and put stuff all over my hair. I also like to sleep so if I can sleep in as late as possible then I will. Also on the few occasions, I do dress up and put some kind of makeup on, people get really excited/surprised so that’s a nice once in a while thing. I also think I look like a geisha when I wear makeup so I prefer not to do that. Brb, writing a memoir. So yeah. I don’t think women need to wear makeup to be pretty. I think the definition of pretty has been so screwed up by media that it’s just not right. I’m not saying that women shouldn’t wear makeup, I’m just saying they don’t need it. If they want to, then by all means, go for it but if you don’t want to, then that’s fine too. Beauty has a lot of different meanings, kind of like love. Beauty is different to everyone. The people I find beautiful might not be the people you find beautiful. What’s that saying? “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” So much truth. Also being a man, you don’t have to dress a certain way or be super buff. If you want to wear pink, wear pink. I really don’t care. I rarely notice what people wear anyways. When people are like “Did you see what she wore? OMG that top was so cute and her shoes totally matched her necklace,” I’m like “What? Wait she was wearing a necklace?” I just don’t notice these things. I’m very oblivious to fashion and clothes on people. I literally cannot recall anything anyone wore to anything. I’m just like “wait we weren’t all naked?” I guess as long as people have some kind of clothes on, it’s not a big deal to me. 

This was a longer post but I just wanted to get that out there. You can judge me and hate me and bash me all you want for not wearing/knowing how to wear makeup at the age of 20 and for not styling my hair differently every damn day. I’ll probably be a little hurt but I am certainly not going to start doing any of that to please the likes of you. I really wish I cared more about stuff like that but I don’t. Also I save tons of money so my parents and my bank account loves me for that.

Also if I ever did makeup, this is what would happen.

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Let’s just say that I am going to be cast as the Joker in the next Batman movie because I am the villain that Gotham deserves.

-Jonny

 

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Harry Potter and The Spring Break of 2014

My spring break adventures have come to an end and I am the saddest. Can we just skip to summer? I’m getting so ridiculously tired of this whole “school” thing. Over it. 

Well let’s start this off with a good picture of some Monks riding a roller coaster. 

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Anyways, I wanted to talk about a few things that I did over break. I went to Orlando for Universal (mainly Harry Potter world) with three of my sorority sisters. Now I am a huge Disney theme park fan. My heart will always go on for Disney but Universal gets a whole lot of cool points too. Of course my life would not be complete without some complications. Our first flight out got canceled. The second flight got delayed twice and then not by 10 mins. To top my wonderful traveling tales off, we almost missed the flight. I always have so much trouble with the getting to places part, once I’m there, everything’s great but for some reason, the act of traveling itself hates me. 

Once I finally got to Florida, the three days of Universal commenced. Started off at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and ended there also. The first day, we were welcomed to Florida with free food. Free breakfast at the Three Broomsticks and then NATIONAL PANCAKE DAY, THE BEST DAY OF EVER. The second day, we went to the actual Universal part of the theme park and it was a good time AFTER I was allowed into the park. Okay so theme parks have this whole fingerprint scanning thing and apparently I didn’t have the same fingerprint the second day as I did the first. So I was trapped outside of the park for a bit while my friends pointed and laughed. Casual. Of course this would happen to me. Lady Luck hates me. I’m not fond of you either, you harlot! Anyway, one of my friends on the trip turned 21 and so that was an interesting day for her to say the least. I found my favorite ride, THE MUMMY. OMG. It’s like Space Mountain but better. I know. “BETTER THAN SPACE MOUNTAIN?! BLASPHEMY. TO THE DUNGEON WITH YOU.” Calm yourselves. Space Mountain is great and all but it’s no Mummy. PHENOMENAL. As I walked around the park, I realized that I haven’t seen these movies in forever. I mean I cannot remember the last time I watched Men in Black, let alone Men in Black 2. Also E.T., I’m pretty sure I was still in single digits the last time I watched that. Now I want to watch all the movies so I can connect them to the rides that I rode. That night, my 21 year old friend went out and celebrated with her dad while the three, underaged kids, partied hard with nojitos and henna tattoos. We also got a pretty cool balloon hat from a pirate on stilts.

Here’s a quick pic

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Yay for Margaritaville. 

Day three was filled with rain but rain at theme parks mean no lines. So we rode every ride like twice and the trick to having a good time is to scream on every single ride like the Cat in the Hat ride. The Things are super creepy in the ride. Day three was also souvenir day aka my bank account hates me day. Whatever, I got my own wand and that’s all that matters. 

Here’s a picture of me riding a roller coaster having the time of my life.

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I have no idea who that girl is next to me but I am just enjoying life with my camo hat and striped shirt. #bowdownbitches

Additionally because I know you all are dying for visual simulation, I picstitched pictures each day so you get a nice summary. You’re welcome. 

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I loved Spring break. I loved getting away and forgetting whatever I left behind here. I made some cool memories and got a sweet henna tat which I’m getting ready to get lectured about from my parents. “It’s not permanent, mom.” “I DON’T CARE. IT’S OF THE DEVIL. I NEED TO BATHE YOU IN HOLY WATER.” Til then, I’m going to go back to binge watching Pokemon and not thinking about the weight I gained over these few days.

-Jonny

PS: I’m a hufflepuff.